Ah! I’m an awful blogger. Truly, terrible.
Mooooooving on. (And no, this is not a coffee induced post. Just earl grey tea, I promise)
What do I mean by put your bitch face on? Well, you know how sometimes when you’re out in public, people seem to like to bang into you, or cut in front of you in line, or try to talk to you on the bus? The answer to all these problems (and more!) is just to put your bitch face on.
In essence, your bitch face just makes you look unpleasant. A girl with her bitch face on is not to be messed with. She doesn’t get her bus seat stolen, homeless people feel no urge to strike up conversations, and she’ll be damned if people are cutting her in line. Because she looks scary. This girl will rip your face off if you so much as look like you’re going to cut her off in traffic.
I have mastered my bitch face. When I first moved from the middle of nowhere to Calgary, people would try to strike up conversations with me allllll the time, and I was too polite to do anything about it. I would just nod and smile and hope to GOD that they would stop talking soon. I would get hit up for money from some very scary (and smelly) men downtown. But since I found my bitch face? No way those dudes and coming within ten feet of me. I basically just try to look like I’m incredibly annoyed and rushed, and it usually seems that people leave me the hell alone now.
I tried explaining this to Jarrod, because his mom gets hassled on the train all the time; he didn’t seem to understand the difference between putting on your bitch face and just being a bitch. I promise, they’re not the same thing! Despite what some acquaintances of mine might try to tell you, I’m not a bitch… I’ve just got a very convincing bitch face :)