Please excuse me while I rant a moment…

There are some things in life that I’m certain I will never, ever understand.  For example:

1. Why is it that a man will gladly lift the toilet seat, but is physically incapable of putting it back down? Be lucky that I turn on the light before I go in the middle of the night, or else you’d be fishing me out, big guy.

2. On that note, why can’t you just replace the toilet paper on the roll?  Could you not just eject the empty roll and put on the new one, instead of setting the fresh one on top of the empty one?  And could we maybe place the empty roll IN the garbage can, rather than on the floor beside it? Just maybe?

3. Beer caps: they hurt my sensitive feet. Ergo, garbage can>floor.

4. This might be very, very archaic of me, but I believe that a lady should not have to take out the empty beer cans.  Especially since she didn’t drink any of them.  (Ok, maybe I had one or two…)

5. We are waiting for the bus.  I have had a very long day; no fatman, I don’t want to chat about how long the bus is taking.  It sucks that the last one left without you, but dude, get out of my bubble.

6. Quit. Stealing. MY. Food.  You know who you are. As payback, I might start licking all your food, then putting it back.  Or maybe I’ll lick all MY food and put it back.  Wouldn’t want to risk it, now would you, big guy?  That’s what I thought.

 

Ahhhh that feels better.  Anything you want to get off your chest?

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