Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

I started working with a personal trainer a year ago. It has, to date, been some of the best money I have ever spent. It feels frivolous at times to admit that I have spent thousands of dollars on how I look, but you know what? I would never, ever be where I am now if not for the wonderful women that I’ve worked with over the past year.

I can’t remember a time in the past where I felt great about how my body looked. I was, at best, ambivalent about it. This is still a work in progress, but I am, for the most part, truly happy with myself. My stomach may not be flat, but I have muscles. Actual, visible, functional muscles. My (new) boyfriend calls me quadzilla – lovingly. I’m so proud of what I’m able to do with my body that it matters less and less what it looks like. Instead of focusing on how flat (or not) my abs are, I choose to focus on growing my baby triceps and increasing the weight on my squats.

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Am I vain? 100%. I want to look and feel good in my clothes, and I especially want to look and feel good without them. This past weekend, I lounged all day in my bikini. And it felt fantastic.

The point I’m trying to make here is that anyone can find a path to the results they’re looking for. Part of it is making the effort to get yourself out of that rut. Sometimes, it’s as simple as having a salad for lunch instead of a sandwich, or making dinner at home instead of getting takeout. Sometimes, it means making a serious investment in your body or your health. See a nutritionist or dietician, hire a trainer, get a counselor – whatever it is that you feel you need. If you’re not sure where to start, that’s ok. But in time, whatever you need will become pretty obvious. Just have the courage to make changes and you’ll get where you’re hoping to go.

 

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Finding Motivation

I’ve been really slipping on a lot of things lately.  I just spent about $500 at Costco (and yes, I did need those 6 bottles of wine, thankyouverymuch), and I bought lunch twice this week.  It’s a freaking miracle that new shoes haven’t found their way into my closet yet.

I’ve also been finding it difficult to find the right kind of inspiration for getting fit.  There’s a million pictures on Tumblr and such of itty-bitty women… who are also clearly presidents of the itty-bitty-titty-committee.  That’s beautiful if that’s what you are naturally built like, but I’m really not.  Unless I went through some surgical transformations, there is no way I could ever join that club.

Of course, there’s also pictures of scary-ripped ladies.  This just doesn’t seem appealing to me… why would I want a six-pack?  If I ate anything at all, I would feel like I immediately needed to go do some crunches so I didn’t kill all my hard work with a cheeseburger.  I want to be fit, and more than that healthy, and I think that health is just as much about your mental state as your physical well being.  You know?

My motivation to eat properly is being overrun by my need to eat everything with salt in it.  This has resulted in some serious tummy bloat and discomfort.  And looking super weird in all my clothes, despite how much running and lunging I get in.  Pretty much I just feel very frustrated about everything right now.

Taking suggestions on how to get my ass in gear!

Workin’ 9-5

Actually, 7:30 to 4:30.  But you get the point.

No one warns you that your first day of work is kind of like Christmas was when you were a kid: you’ll be too riled up to sleep properly, so getting up is not going to be your problem.  And neither is staying awake all day.  The problem comes a couple days later when you’re getting up at 5:30am for the third day in a row.  And when you’re fighting falling asleep with your mouth open at 8pm.  Oh, working life, you’re just so full of joy.

The new job is good, although doesn’t seem too difficult yet.  I’m cautious to say that it will remain this was as I have a feeling that the first week isn’t very representative of how the rest of my life will go, you know?  But everyone seems nice, and I do have a sick view of the mountains.  And an office.  So pretty much, this job can’t be all that bad.

Also not what I imagined?  This spending ban business.  I haven’t really been doing all that well… I bought lunch yesterday and coffee yesterday after an unfortunate incident that left me too frustrated to deal with pretty much anything.  And I bought soup today to go with my sandwich because a co-worker asked if I wanted to come with him to get food.  When you’re new, you don’t turn down social outings.  You just don’t.  The other problem is that my new office is in an area where shopping is very accessible.  Like, my favourite shoe store is 2 blocks away.  And there’s an Italian market a few blocks the other way.  And the mall is a 10 minute walk.  Seriously, it’s going to be wonderful come June, but for now, it’s like placing a bag of cocaine in front of an addict and telling them not to have any.  So. Hard. 

Other than the food, and the tea that I had after work with a friend, I haven’t been doing too bad.  I just think I need to plan ahead a bit more and stock the cupboards with more work-friendly food options so that I’m less tempted to go looking for any outside of the office.  Clothing and such isn’t as big a challenge for me… I even managed to leave my grubby hands off the newest issue of Glamour.  It”s just really difficult to find something to do for an hour when eating takes all of 15 minutes.

Oh, and I have more kale in the fridge to play with.  And I went to the gym this week.  Winning all around.

Going to go pass out now.  Sitting in a desk all day takes a surprising amount of energy!